Posts

Showing posts from June, 2020

Another day in paradise.

Image
No more handshakes but milkshakes are fine. Observations about Covid-19 1. No more handshakes, no hugging, no random kisses, no one night stands, no dancing naked at the dive bar. The new definition of "Hooking Up" is putting a car on the back of the RV for a vacation in the wilderness.  2. It's always Halloween, you can have a new creative mask every day of the week.      3. All grandma activities are either gone or moved online. Bridge, bingo, slot machines. We aren't allowed outside without getting the third degree from children and grandchildren. "Hi Grandma, what did you do today?" Me: "I opened and closed my front door 20 times, just to look at the street." She: "Were you social distancing?" Me: "No, I was within 6 feet of a lizard, a squirrel, a sand hill crane and a cockroach." She: "Grandma you know what I mean. This isn't a time for your jokes." Me: "Honey if this isn't a time for j

I'm not crazy, you are.

Image
Mork, Steve, and Gilligan   Coming into week 75 of self isolation I'm feeling better than ever. I always knew that I could be a hermit. I could be that person who buys a cabin in the woods, lives off the land, hunts wild animals to survive, makes her own butter, grinds her own grain and sews her own beaver pelts. I'm just like Hank, Jr. - A Country boy/girl Can Survive.  As restrictions are being lifted, I'm starting to get too much contact from the outside world, just the other day a spaceship landed on my roof. Mork walked right into my house and said "Nanu Nanu." I told him to get his spaceship off my roof immediately and he said that "Alien Lives Matter." I didn't want to appear racist so I told him he could stay a couple of days. Mork is even funnier in person than on television. It was nice to have someone point his finger to cook your food. He made the best omelets and biscuits with just two points. Since I had watched an episode featur

Life, Love, Laughter

Image
RELAX AND ENJOY Okay, raise your hand if your life sucks. ✋ Now raise your hand if you're one of the lucky ones. ✋ While thinking of a topic for this blog post I was feeling lost, lonely and sad. The whole purpose of the blog is to make my friends and family laugh, so I thought you might enjoy some observation comedy. 1. I came across this woman while doing errands; tall, chubby, longer wild hair and probably in her 50's. She's in front of a closed store front with signs and a box of masks. She was not wearing any protective gear. She held a sign that said, "Jesus is my protection" while asking passersby if they'd found Jesus. Okay, she's welcome to believe that but then she pulls out these masks that she's selling for $10.00. The masks also say "Jesus is my protection." Did she see the irony? Was she really that cray cray? 2. I always engage kids wherever I go. In the grocery store I was trying to get a little girl to talk to me