I'm not crazy, you are.

Mork, Steve, and Gilligan  

Coming into week 75 of self isolation I'm feeling better than ever. I always knew that I could be a hermit. I could be that person who buys a cabin in the woods, lives off the land, hunts wild animals to survive, makes her own butter, grinds her own grain and sews her own beaver pelts. I'm just like Hank, Jr. - A Country boy/girl Can Survive. 

As restrictions are being lifted, I'm starting to get too much contact from the outside world, just the other day a spaceship landed on my roof. Mork walked right into my house and said "Nanu Nanu." I told him to get his spaceship off my roof immediately and he said that "Alien Lives Matter." I didn't want to appear racist so I told him he could stay a couple of days. Mork is even funnier in person than on television. It was nice to have someone point his finger to cook your food. He made the best omelets and biscuits with just two points. Since I had watched an episode featuring Orkan food I knew better than to try the fleck. He later moved on to Boulder to visit Mindy. 
Mork & Mindy Quotes (@MorkQuotes) | Twitter

Right after Mork left, Colonel Steve Austin knocked on my front door. I asked him to leave but he told me, "Bionic Lives Matter." I wasn't too angry I'd been waiting for him to show up at my door since 1975. If Mork made me laugh then Steve made me swoon. I especially liked the way he changed light bulbs, air filters and cleaned my deck with no shirt on. Steve and his bionic legs can outrun anyone. I accosted some runners in the neighborhood and made bets that my friend could beat them in a 1 mile run by 10 minutes. I made a lot of money that day, much more than directing bridge games. As most handsome men do, he went back to the tall beautiful bionic woman Jamie Sommers. Damn. 
Amazon.com: The Six Million Dollar Man Television Series (1974 ...

After all the rain we've been having, my backyard is mostly under water. Imagine my surprise when Gilligan swam up to my back door. He was looking for the Professor to tell him that he found civilization. I asked him to leave immediately and he told me "Castaway Lives Matter." Of course I let him in, what I liked most about Gilligan was that no matter the topic I was smarter. He thought that grouper actually had fingers. He though garlic killed vampires, we all know that you have to put a stake through their heart. I asked him if he was a Ginger or Marianne guy. He corrected me that they weren't guy's. When asked how many times the Skipper hit him with his hat he said, "Only when I deserved it." He told me that he was going to go back to the island and bring the rest of the castaways. I asked him how he'd find his way back and he asked for a piece of my clothing because his sense of smell was like a bloodhound. 
The Bucket Hat: Not Just for Gilligan Anymore - WSJ

I'm waiting for Elizabeth Montgomery to twitch her nose and show up in my living room. However, it might be Jennie that blinks her eyes and shows up with Major Healey. 

Who has visited you in these last 127 weeks of isolation?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Back to the Bad Ole Days

Image
 What the hell Rona?  Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water the beast known as "The Rona" shows it's ugly head again. Here's the thing, as an "elder" (that's what my grandson used to call me), I'm scared of crap that never used to frighten me. Here's an example: I see a guy walking in my neighborhood with a saw, I don't think "Oh, he's here to trim my palm trees" I think of these guys.  Back in the day, a hurricane was an opportunity to batten down the hatches and throw back a cocktail or two. Now I'm petrified that a tree will fall on my house and kill me. I'm afraid to drive without a seat belt, ride a bike without a helmet, drink water from the hose, or walk anywhere outside of my senior community alone. Some might say, that's part of our changing society so get used to the terror that surrounds us. However I suspect when we were young and bullet proof, we never considered consequences. There
Read more

The Stepford Wives

Image
  Life in the Hood My neighborhood association is having a zoom meeting today, so as expected, there are signs about the meeting at the entrances of the streets. On my walk this morning someone put a sticker on the sign asking why a lamp light isn't working at a particular home? I swear it wasn't me! The association probably won't believe me since I already had this fight with them and it cost me $377.00 to fix the light. Their argument is that if I had an emergency the ambulance wouldn't be able to see my house number (yes the house number must be on the light). My response, "Don't they have headlights on the vehicles? Won't they see the large house number on my garage? Do they have GPS?" As I said I lost that battle and forked over an entire month of wine purchases to have it fixed.  Last year our president tried to pass a rule that we had to get a background check on our visitors if they stayed over a certain period of time. I'm not kidding! Th
Read more

My Community

Image
  Walking the Streets Are you looking for something to pass the time while you're in self imposed lock down? After walking the dog around the block I decided to bring her home and go walking alone. I want to lose some weight and break up the boredom of spending a day alone with just me, the TV and the refrigerator. I've learned so much about my neighbors and my entire community. I know who are Republicans and who are Democrats. I know who are Gator fans and who support the Buckeyes. I've learned long walks on recycle days will show who to invite to a party. I passed one house with the recycling container over flowing with wine and beer bottles. That taught me that I'm not a wino, I'm just an upstanding member of my community. They say walking is the best exercise, it's also a walk down mem ory lane. I passed a house with a couple taking a break from putting up Christmas decorations. They were in lawn chairs listening to Waylon and Willie singing, "Mama Don&
Read more