I'm sorry for everything

 

im so sorry forgive me meme -

Dear God, Supreme Beings and Mother Nature

I'm sorry! Whatever I did to piss you off at the whole world I'd like to apologize and start over. 

In no particular order I'd like to list my transgressions and ask for absolution, forgiveness, a do over, or a mulligan (for the God of Golf). Just know that I'm so sorry and feel so guilty that the world is being punished because of my stupidity.

1. I'm sorry that last week when my recycling bin was full, I threw away the milk jug in the trash instead of saving it for the next pickup of recyclable materials. It was selfish but very convenient, I should of known better.


2. I apologize for not always giving my change to the bell ringer at Publix every Christmas. Let me explain, that damn bell is annoying; I don't like to get close to it so I stay as far away as possible. If that excuse isn't good enough, I also heard that enabling the poor will only make them poorer. Sorry God, I didn't mean to say that.

Salvation Army Bell Ringers Have Upped Their Game - WSJ
Publix needs to hire these guys.

3. I'm sorry about calling our politicians, dirty, no good, money grubbing, evil souls. I know they are serving this country and doing the best they can (that was a particularly hard sentence to write). God, if I apologize enough will you make them work together and get us out of this disaster? Or will you at least replace them with people that will.

Politicians fight over power - Chinadaily.com.cn

4. Mother Nature, I'm extremely regretful of the times I've driven over the speed limit. I know that some very good dinosaurs gave their life so that I can drive a car to my neighbors house. My father once told me that speed limits are just suggestions. I'm also sorry for all my plane, boat and train travel. When I stop and think about it, I can see mountains, rivers and lakes on the nature channel.

5. Zeus, no more complaining about the weather, whatever you decide the world needs I'll support you. I do have a couple of questions. Why do we need hurricanes? Is it to make us clean up the yard? Is it to see who can remain sober during a life threatening crisis? Now to tornadoes, they seem to strike mainly in the mid west and I do remember saying why would anyone live there. Zeus, I apologize to you and everyone from Iowa, Kansas and Oklahoma.
Hurricane GIFs | Tenor

6. Poseidon, I must have really pissed you off for that Indian Ocean tsunami. In 2004 I got married in Hawaii and I accidentally brought home some colored sand from the beach, some lava rocks and some flower lei's. I'm sure you're wondering how that could have been accidental. I'm sure my late husband did the packing on the return trip, I think you should ask him if he put those in my suitcase. 
Kraken and Poseidon. Poseidon was god of the sea… | by Wrennen ...
7. I'm sorry for hating rats, bats and flies. I don't understand the purpose of their existence, since they carry so many diseases. While I'm asking, what is the purpose of a cock roach? Covid 19 has been a particularly evil consequence to my actions. TO EVERYONE I've ever offended I offer my heartfelt apologies. I don't know if I can not hate rat, bats and flies, I may need therapy for that.
Bat Influenza (Flu) | Seasonal Influenza (Flu) | CDC

8. Nike, the goddess of sports, I'm especially sorry to you. I know I was mean to the Tampa Bay Lightning when they BLEW the Stanley Cup last year. I called them chokers, which I knew would hurt their feelings. I've spent the last 6 months watching reruns of sporting events, hoping the outcome would change. I also watch mountain climbing and route for the person in the most colorful outfit. I watch shot putters and route for the skinniest competitor, since they have a big disadvantage. Nike, you are the most beautiful and the best of the Greek Gods, please bring back our sports. Tampa Bay Lightning, I'm sorry and I love you very much.
Lightning's Steven Stamkos to miss six to eight weeks
So sorry Steven

Who expected a year like 2020 and it's only half way over? Again, I'm very sorry for every wrong thing I've done to create this shit show of a year.
Shit Show GIFs | Tenor
 Remember to take a year off your age since we aren't counting 2020.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Back to the Bad Ole Days

Image
 What the hell Rona?  Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water the beast known as "The Rona" shows it's ugly head again. Here's the thing, as an "elder" (that's what my grandson used to call me), I'm scared of crap that never used to frighten me. Here's an example: I see a guy walking in my neighborhood with a saw, I don't think "Oh, he's here to trim my palm trees" I think of these guys.  Back in the day, a hurricane was an opportunity to batten down the hatches and throw back a cocktail or two. Now I'm petrified that a tree will fall on my house and kill me. I'm afraid to drive without a seat belt, ride a bike without a helmet, drink water from the hose, or walk anywhere outside of my senior community alone. Some might say, that's part of our changing society so get used to the terror that surrounds us. However I suspect when we were young and bullet proof, we never considered consequences. There
Read more

The Stepford Wives

Image
  Life in the Hood My neighborhood association is having a zoom meeting today, so as expected, there are signs about the meeting at the entrances of the streets. On my walk this morning someone put a sticker on the sign asking why a lamp light isn't working at a particular home? I swear it wasn't me! The association probably won't believe me since I already had this fight with them and it cost me $377.00 to fix the light. Their argument is that if I had an emergency the ambulance wouldn't be able to see my house number (yes the house number must be on the light). My response, "Don't they have headlights on the vehicles? Won't they see the large house number on my garage? Do they have GPS?" As I said I lost that battle and forked over an entire month of wine purchases to have it fixed.  Last year our president tried to pass a rule that we had to get a background check on our visitors if they stayed over a certain period of time. I'm not kidding! Th
Read more

My Community

Image
  Walking the Streets Are you looking for something to pass the time while you're in self imposed lock down? After walking the dog around the block I decided to bring her home and go walking alone. I want to lose some weight and break up the boredom of spending a day alone with just me, the TV and the refrigerator. I've learned so much about my neighbors and my entire community. I know who are Republicans and who are Democrats. I know who are Gator fans and who support the Buckeyes. I've learned long walks on recycle days will show who to invite to a party. I passed one house with the recycling container over flowing with wine and beer bottles. That taught me that I'm not a wino, I'm just an upstanding member of my community. They say walking is the best exercise, it's also a walk down mem ory lane. I passed a house with a couple taking a break from putting up Christmas decorations. They were in lawn chairs listening to Waylon and Willie singing, "Mama Don&
Read more