Life, Love, Laughter

RELAX AND ENJOY

Beautiful Scenery #6941426
Okay, raise your hand if your life sucks. ✋ Now raise your hand if you're one of the lucky ones. ✋ While thinking of a topic for this blog post I was feeling lost, lonely and sad. The whole purpose of the blog is to make my friends and family laugh, so I thought you might enjoy some observation comedy.

1. I came across this woman while doing errands; tall, chubby, longer wild hair and probably in her 50's. She's in front of a closed store front with signs and a box of masks. She was not wearing any protective gear. She held a sign that said, "Jesus is my protection" while asking passersby if they'd found Jesus. Okay, she's welcome to believe that but then she pulls out these masks that she's selling for $10.00. The masks also say "Jesus is my protection." Did she see the irony? Was she really that cray cray?

2. I always engage kids wherever I go. In the grocery store I was trying to get a little girl to talk to me and she said, "Mommy doesn't want me to talk to grandmas cause they will be sick if I do."

3. When walking the dog in the morning I see most of the neighborhood, we're all going crazy from the isolation. Jim (not Rottman) my neighbor asks me what big plans I had for the day. I told him I had to choose between Netflix and Prime. He said he had to choose between napping and doing honey do's. I asked which one he was picking and he said honey do's cause I can't cook. Good answer.

4. I wish I could claim this one but I found it on the internet. 
"Due to Corona virus I am self isolating. No one may enter my home except: Keanu Reeves, Matthew McConaughey, George Clooney and those firefighter guys holding puppies who I saw on a calendar."

 5. I've really been working out and eating right during the Covid 19 epidemic. Here's a pic! Oh, don't pay any attention to those mountains in the background, I photo shopped those in for the effect.
Images of women in bikinis prompted brain responses in men associated with using tools.

 6. Last night I drove by some of your houses and peeked in the window. Can you figure out whose house this is? 

 17 Best Men Doing Dishes images | Bones funny, Just for laughs ...  

Covid-19, race riots, 24% unemployment rate. Could it get any worse? Well today is June 1st, the start of the hurricane season. 

 Atlantic hurricane season forecast to be unusually active - The ...

We can't change anything so we're just gonna keep laughing.

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening at church service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, "STOP! ACTS 2:38!" (Repent and be baptized, in the name of the lord, so that your sins may be forgiven.)

The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell scripture at you."

"SCRIPTURE?!" replied the burglar, "She said she had an AXE and TWO 38's!

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