My Calendar

Today I got a reminder that it's the second Tuesday of the month. Google calendar told me to go to Beanie's at 4:30 to meet my friends for a cocktail and dinner. I'm extremely disappointed that I can't go, but you can't stop me from dinner and cocktails. At 4:30 I'm going to make a vodka martini, straight up with olives and shove a pizza in the oven while listening to country music. 

For years I hated country music. Dad used to blare Hank Snow and Mom was into Buck Owens. Every Saturday morning we listened to that music and cleaned the house. Double torture, it was water boarding before we knew what water boarding was. Anyway, if you don't like country music I'm going to share with you some of the lyrics that now make the music irresistible. If you like clever lyrics, you'll understand my new addiction.

Dixie Chicks - Earl Had to Die - It's a ballad about domestic abuse and you guessed it, Earl was the abuser who disappeared.

"Those black-eyed peas, tasted alright to me Earl. 

You feelin' weak? Why don't you lay down and sleep Earl. 

Ain't it dark wrapped up in that tarp, Earl. 

Earl had to die!"

Blake Shelton - I'll Name the Dogs - Blake's proposing to his love with these memorable lyrics.

"I'll hang the pictures, you hang the stars,

You pick the paint, I'll pick a guitar.

Sing you a song with the crickets and the frogs,🐸

You name the babies and I'll name the dogs."

Miranda Lambert - It'll all Come Out in the Wash 

"It'll all come out, all come out in the wash,

It'll all come out, all come out in the wash.

Every little stain, every little heartbreak, 

No matter how messy it got.

You take the men and the sin and you throw 'em all in,

And you put that sucker on spin.

You gotta put that sucker on spin."

Luke Bryan - Rain is a Good Thing

"Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey,

Whiskey makes my baby, feel a little frisky.

Rain is a good thing.

Carrie Underwood - Dirty Laundry

"Now I'ma have to hang you out to dry, dry, dry

Clothespin all your secrets to the line, line, line.

Leave 'em blowing in the wind, just say goodbye to you

All those midnights sneaking in

I'm late again, oh, I'm so sorry.

All the Ajax in the world ain't gonna clean your dirty laundry.

Midland - Drinkin Problem

People say I've got a drinkin' problem,

That ain't no reason to stop.

People sayin' that I've hit rock bottom,

Just cause I'm living on the rocks.

It's a broken hearted thinkin' problem,

So pull that bottle off the wall.

People say I've got a drinkin' problem,

But I got no problem drinkin' at all.

Well we've made it half way through May, how much longer can we endure being lazy, self indulgent slugs? Maybe a few more weeks will be okay. 😃