Laughter in the Time of Isolation

Trash and Recycling Bins Reveal the Truth Every day I take my sidekick on a walk through the neighborhood. She thinks it's an opportunity to sniff, pee and poop and yes she's a dog; Sue Batt is too dignified to let me walk her. I haven't revealed the truth until now, allowing Blanka to do her business is one thing but I like to spy on trash and recycling days. As I walk my side kick I take a peak in the recycling bins. I must not reveal names to protect the innocent, but a few doors away there is a household that's on a first name basis with Johnny Walker. I used to wonder why he stood on his driveway in his underwear and sang Auld Lang Syne to the blue recycling truck. It was not only a tribute to Rabbie Burns but honoring the barley that gave it's life to become his best friend.  Then a few doors down is a widow that has an affinity for Vodka. She's not brand loyal and I think she might be an art collector, since most of the bottles are from Van Gogh. I...

Life is a Journey unless you can't go anywhere. I've been canceling vacations faster than Ryan Seacrest finds new jobs. I've always loved the Men's Club Cruise held in the fall but I've canceled this year due to the damn virus. For my family that's not aware of what the Men's Club Cruise is, I assure you it's not a cruise to pick up men, although that might be even more fun. It's a yearly cruise sponsored  by the Men's Club of Sun City to benefit the community. I was going on an European vacation with my family in Alaska in June. It's been postponed to June 2021. In September I'm supposed to go Virginia  with friends and then stay with grandchildren while their mother goes to Seattle. It's not cancelled yet so there is still hope. In order to keep my spirits up and satisfy my sense of adventure I've come up with: "Traveling in Sun City Center." I pretend that Walmart is a resort on the Mexican Riviera. I enter t...

You can always go Downtown! Well maybe not! In my last post I decided no more Stinkin Thinkin! Therefore, while thinking about my next blog entry I decided to rip off David Letterman and do a top ten list.  Top Ten People Covid-19 has taken a dump on! 10. Walmart Greeters - "Welcome to Walmart, limit one toilet paper but you can buy as much beer and wine as you need to make it through the day." What the greeter should say, "Welcome to Walmart, I get up every day and go to work where I could catch a deadly disease and die, all for $8.50 an hour so that you can buy toilet paper. In case you're wondering YES I hate my job." 9. Covid-19 Tester - "Good morning ma'am, do you mind if I stick this swab up your nasal passage all the way to your eye socket? Thank you and your results will be available in 1 to 2 weeks. Don't worry if you don't survive that long we'll notify your next of kin whether you were positive or negative. ...

 Where Were you When the World Shrank? While walking my dog this morning, I saw a couple neighbors walking due to boredom or for exercise. The three of us (at an acceptable distance) discussed whether we're ever getting out of self isolation. I found out that there have been 4 cases in my immediate neighborhood. I also learned that Wawa is closed because an employee tested positive. Bob Evans is closed without a statement, so we all assume it's the virus's fault. Will we ever be free again? Seems like an appropriate question on the 4th of July. I miss my friends and family, so I've made some immediate changes to my life. No more stinkin thinkin.   I'm making myself my new best friend. Things I can do by myself: 1. Play bridge with a robot online. There are many advantages, imagine never being asked what that bid means? Never having to put on a bra! Never having to sit across from someone with body odor. Being able to sign out when you get tired...