Happy New Year

 IT'S OVER

IT'S FINALLY OVER!

2020 has come to an end finally, I sure hope it doesn't let the door hit it in the ass on it's way out. I've never been so happy to be another year older, unless it was when I was 15 so I could drive. We don't want to screw up 2021 so here are some examples of good luck around the world. 

1. Brazilians wear white on New Years because it brings good luck and peace. If you're from Ohio and never wear white after Labor Day this is the year to break that tradition. Would you rather break a fashion rule or repeat 2020? It's up to you!

2. In Denmark a broken dish is good luck. Neighbors, friends and family go to each other's home and smash a plate on your door step. The more shards you get the more well liked and lucky you will be. I don't suggest we use this one in Sun City Center, I've heard some of these old farts can't take a joke.

3. In Spain you'll need to eat 12 grapes. Sounds easy huh? Well you have to eat one at each stroke of midnight. How many of you guys can stay up that late?

4. Countries in Latin America believe that the color of your underwear can bring good things to you the next year. Yellow means lucky, red means love, and white means peace. I'm not looking for love and I've had enough peace in 2020 therefore I'm going for yellow. I looked at Amazon and they can't deliver yellow panties until Jan. 4th, so that won't work. I can soak some white underwear in yellow curry powder, or I could just wear my oldest white pair that's been washed so much they've turned yellow, or I could just pee my pants. 

5. Let's go back to Brazil, another way to increase your luck for the new year is to head to the beach and jump over 7 waves. You get to make one wish for every wave. For my friends in Florida this will be easy but my daughter and her family will not likely jump waves in the Pacific Ocean from Alaska.

6. In Columbia people grab an empty suitcase and run around the block at midnight. It's believed it means you will travel during the new year. I sure would like to get out of Sun City next year. If you see me with a suitcase in your neighborhood don't call the police. 

7. Also in Denmark, people stand on a chair and when the clock strikes midnight they leap into the new year. We'd better have ambulances standing by for all the broken hips that would cause. I suggest skipping this one.

8. In most cultures we kiss our loved one at the stroke of midnight. I'm not exactly sure if this qualifies; however, if you've all alone this year you can either kiss a picture of your sweetie or kiss your dog or cat. 

9. Open all your doors and windows to let 2020 out. Shoo that awful year out the door and make room for 2021.

10. This is the most important of all! It's a southern tradition to eat "Hoppin' John." It's a dish of black eyed peas and pork served over rice. If you want to make it even more lucky add collard greens and cornbread. If you don't want to go to all that trouble the least you can do is buy a can of blackeyes and swallow one spoonful. This one really works, how do you think the Tampa Bay Lightning won the Stanley cup, the Rays made it to the World Series and the Buccaneers got Tom Brady and Gronk, which means play offs baby!! Yep, that was because I ate my black eyed peas. 

Wishing everyone a happy and lucky new year! Please eat those damn black eyed peas. As bad as 2020 was, maybe we should do at least two items on the list.